3 First Date Tips: The Do’s and Don’ts
Let’s face it. First dates suck. They’re nerve wracking, awkward, and usually result in failure. But you’ve made it this far, and with nothing to lose, other than a couple hours, the chance that it could turn into something good, even though it probably won’t, there’s a few ways that you can hedge your bets and avoid a completely miserable soul ravaging experience.
First Date Tips: The Don’ts
(1) Don’t Trigger her Red Flags
Dating for men is hard, but it’s even harder for women. Women have to worry about their safety. While men should also be concerned, they generally don’t go out of their way to (say) text friends that their ok every hour or take precautions. With that in mind, you have to realize that women are on the lookout for red flags. While you don’t want to be too afraid to say anything, you also don’t want to lead off with a rape joke or show her a picture of your cock on your phone. Neither of these are likely to impress her, and you’ll never hear from her again.
There is always going to a fine line between seeming dangerous enough to be sexual, and making her unsafe and seeming threatening. You don’t want to seem unoffensive, but you don’t want to be offensive either. Your best bet given this flurry of seemingly contradictory advice, is to simply be yourself, and to leave her free to either like it or not. That’s what she’s going to do anyway, and you have little to no control over how someone else feels. When you recognize this, it takes much of burden and stress of the situation. If it doesn’t work out, who cares? Move on to the next date.
Best Dating Tips For Men: The Do’s
(2) Relax and Be Yourself
Relax. Nine first dates out of ten will not result in long term relationships. If it doesn’t work out, that’s not the end of the world. When you try too hard you seem desperate and needy, and women see that as a red flag, and with good reason. Clingers are no fun to be around. They’re abusive and scary. The whole thing gets ugly so you don’t want that to be the way you come across.
(3) You’re There to Get to Know Her
Remember what you’re there for. You’re there to get to know her. Two people, doing something together, in order to get to know one another. Be engaging. Ask her questions. Make eye contact, but without staring at her. You want to feel her out. Pay attention to her body language. Get her laughing. If you seem nervous, that’s ok. A little nervousness is endearing. She’s nervous too. The whole experience is nerve racking. The best thing you can do is to get her talking about herself, her work, concerts she’s been to, what her family is like. It’s all about the two of you getting to know one another. If there’s no chemistry, that will become apparently. It’s disappointing for sure, but it’s not the end of the world. Another date will be soon around the corner and if you repeat this process enough times, inevitably, you will meet someone who you really mesh with and it’ll be great.
Just don’t put too much pressure on yourself, and don’t put any pressure on her. Don’t force conversations where they have no business going, and don’t go off talking about how you’re a writer but the publishing industry sucks and no one reads poetry anymore.